"Living" With My Family

(dear relatives I am truly sorry if you are reading this but it must be said)

Image courtesy of: my drawing skills 

Ok so first of all you don't live with my family, you survive them, like a natural disaster, i'm not only talking about my mother, father, and sister, i'm talking about ALL my relatives. Uncles, aunts, grandpas, grandmas, cousins, the whole nine yards.  Lets start from old and go to young, first of the list is my grandma's, they are both absolute nutcases!  One is oblivious all the time and could get lost in a box, the other is a neat freak, lets put it this way, she cleaned her dog so many times that it started losing its fur and is now just a naked mole rat with tufts of fur sticking out in various places.  Next are my grandpa's, one is an average joe accept for one misleading fact... he is paranoid about everything.  The other has parkinson's disease so he doesn't make sense half the time.  Next would be my mother and father both annoying and "emotionally unstable".  My father is especially hard on me, dont ask me why because I wouldnt be able to tell you.  My mother always needs something to worry about, whether its my grandpa, or me and my chores, she is a non stop worry machine and there's nothing you can do to change it.  Dont even get me started on my sister, she has absolutely no sense of humor, I can laugh at things, most things, however she cannot.  Well it's more that she chooses not to, she is basically just grumpy the whole time.  Accept for when she gets together with my cousin, then all you hear is two girls laughs screeching from upstairs, they become hysterical.  However the case I have to live with them, and thats the struggle.  Put all of my siblings together on an event like thanksgiving and I completely lose it.  However i'm no sugar coat either, I have my issues, add me to our family and were practically dysfunctional.  I bet if you recorded our family you could make a tv show out of our dysfunctionality.  I am definitely not looking forward to this thanksgiving because we are having somewhere around twenty people over at my house, which kills my ocd.  I'm probably going to go outside and be alone for all of thanksgiving other than when the food is out. I will do most anything for thanksgiving food.  My family might be crazy but they make amazing food.  I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for their food, I would probably run away and become part of a circus of something.  LADYS AND GENTS PLEASE WELCOME THE AMAZING CIRCUS BOY!!!!! But hey, its free food so who am I to judge.  Whatever the fact may be you get the point, my family is crazy and the only reason I need them is for food and clothing and thats about it.  Yes, yes I know, I will have to live with them for the rest of my life, but right about now i'm seriously considering the circus.  

ME + food = no food

image courtesy of  Wikipedia 

I LOVE food, i'm not joking here, I would never eat until I hit puberty and then one day I are an entire Maxwells pizza... by myself... Usually I have a bowl of cereal for breakfast then for lunch I eat like no ones business.  You know those café rio burritos? An average joe can eat 3/4 of one, I usually eat three, sometimes four... I believe what makes food good are defined by two categories.  firs being how the food tastes  and on a scale from 1 to ten what I rate it.  The second category being how filling it is, for example the café rio quesadillas are a seven because they are really filling and they are not super delicious but not terrible, so average which makes them a seven.  Its funny because usually my parents just assume i'm hungry and its mostly true.  They will sometimes say "Hey Carson are you hungry?'' and I say "nooooooo, because i'm NEVER HUNGRY" Implying that i'm always hungry because I am and its true that I always will be.

I have discovered one conclusive and that fact is the fact that your tastebuds change, meaning one day you wont like olives and maybe the next month you will not necessary only olives but you get the point.  I discovered this was the case one day when I was in malta.  I HATED stinky cheese and any olives, but one day when I was in Malta I ate some olives and stinky cheese and let me tell you what I thought they were along the lines of "holy shit" and "thats delicious".     Im also open to the fact that people should eat new food that they have never discovered before.  For example last night I ate what is called sweet bred and it is cattle intestines washed out and sautéed. For intestines, they weren't bad.  .  Some people would say that food is necessary but good food is a luxury.  They would also say that every generation has its own way to categorize food.  Anyway back to me and how much I eat.  I've heard people say its not normal and i've heard people say that theres a monster inside my stomach and thats why I eat so much. Then I usually reply with "ok" and keep eating.  Not just mainly focused on eating one type of food but more or less a wide variety of food.  Most of the time I dont even know what i'm eating I just eat it, like this one time I ate cow brains and I had no idea and my father was like "dude, you know your eating cow brains right? and I replied with "eh, its alright"    Also one of the things that bugs me most is picky eaters.  I mean who gives a SHIT if they don't have mac and cheese?! Really?! I mean come on! Try something else for once! Anyway, long story short I will eat any food as long as it tastes good and its edible.